“Newlywed Expectations and Horse Training”
Expectations, Pre-Conceived Notions and Ideas –
they can either confirm what you hoped or leave
you very dissallusioned!
Let me explain…
My wife and I provide pre-marriage counseling to couples
in our church. We’ve been doing this for about 20 years
and have worked with dozens and dozens of couples.
We meet with each couple 6 to 7 times and thoroughly dive
into all issues relating to marriage, family planning,
raising children, finances, and a lot, lot more.
For most young couples, we cover things that they didn’t
have a clue about or think about. It’s very eye opening
for them most of the time…. because –
“They’re in L O O O V E”
and don’t often see clearly through those rose-colored
glasses and raging hormones!
So… as you might expect, many times they have certain
expectations about how things are going to be, and
think they are immune to any problems that might
come up, etc.
They are setting themselves up for a rude awakening
unless we can help them become aware of seme of the
expectations they have.
They don’t see all the potential conflicts in likes,
dislikes, relatives, finances, time for each other,
and a hundred other things that is a result of
life situations and all that comes along!
Each one typically has certain expectations or has made
assumptions that don’t even come close to reality.
And, depending on how they were raised and through
past relationships, either of them may have a very
skewed idea of what a good marriage should or could be.
It’s really important for new couples to have a good,
solid understanding of what is ahead of them, what their
vows mean and be ready to learn what is necessary to
commit themselves to this new union.
Uhhh…Charlie – What’s This Have to Do With Horses??
Let me explain….
Just like we can find a mate and fall in love, many do that
with their horses, too. We see those big eyes staring back
at us, see that majestic animal in the pen or out in the
pasture and immediately fall in love. We start dreaming
of trail riding or showing or just wanting to be around
this new love and start a new relationship with this
new horse. Some go ga-ga and don’t have a clue what
they’re getting into.
It happens every day to hundreds, if not thousands. Then,
reality sets in and we have to start training or fixing
problems. Perhaps that new love has some quirks – he bites,
kicks, rears or bucks. He won’t come to you and you can’t
catch him in the pasture. He won’t let you pick up his
feet or he won’t stand to let you groom him or put
on his saddle.
He won’t walk, turn or stop right. You jerk, kick,
pull, scream and get frustrated. Now the horse is even
more confused and doesn’t have a clue what you want
because you haven’t learned enough to know how to
get him to move properly.
Sound familiar to some of you?
Then the horse gets frustrated with you and all your
pulling and negative tone in your voice.
At some point he wants to get rid of all this
pressure (horses will push against or flee pressure).
And how does he do that? By rearing or bucking
you off. Or perhaps taking off on a run as you
hold on for dear life.
That’s his defensive action. You don’t want to take
a horse to that point if you can help it!
Bad Horse?
What just happened is natural for the horse but your
lack of understanding and training sees this as
a “bad horse”.
Sound familiar? Ever seen this before?
Are you living with some of those issues right now?
Sometimes we have to come to the realization that the
problem is with us, not the horse. Gulp!
Take Right Actions – Learn The Truth:
Anything worth doing is worth doing right. If you don’t
have control of your horse then you’re skirting danger.
I know this – a 1,000+ pound horse which has lightning-fast
reactions and enormous strength – is a time bomb waiting to
go off, even with a trained handler or rider.
Do me and yourself a favor right now – if you’re not
willing to learn how to handle that horse correctly
and safely, and train him so it’s safe to ride, then
please get rid of him. Don’t put yourself and others
in harm’s way. Statistics show that you’ll get hurt
and many times it will lead to broken bones,
concussions, or worse.
That may sound harsh but it happens way too often.
If I’m the first one to tell it to you that way and it
keeps you, others or even your horse from getting hurt,
then I’ll do it.
It’s sort of like the new couple who are blinded by love
and don’t see the train wreck coming in their lives.
What’s Your Next Action?
So what are you going to do about it?
May I suggest you look honestly at your situation
with your horse and make a plan to fix what’s broken?
If you need need training help then get it now.
The REAL Truth Is This:
A little bit of education can save you untold
heartache, frustration. It keeps you from undue
harm that may come when your horse is out of
control. It could save you from getting
that broken arm, neck, concussion, or worse.
Please look at the Jesse Beery course in horse training:
http://www.horsetrainingresources.com/beery/
And – take advantage of our professional training
and riding DVDs:
http://www.horsetrainingresources.com/dvd/
But please, don’t take chances around your horses.
That’s it for now…stay safe out there!
Charlie
P.S. Our faithful email readers can take
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Coupon Code: CHARLIEHORSE
Use it for those DVDs, books, pulley bridle,
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“Charlie,
I have learned so much from your tips. Yours is
one of the FEW emails I read every time I see one!
I ordered a DVD today. Thanks for the 20% off.
I needed just that incentive to place my order.
About me- 55 year old media specialist at a middle
school, just started riding summer of 2011.
Having a blast! After a day with middle scholars,
I need some stress relief!
Thanks again for all your help!
JoAnn”
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Links for your reference:
Our DVDs:
http://www.horsetrainingresources.com/dvd/
The Horse Library Online (best value anywhere):
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Jesse Beery Horse Training Course:
http://www.horsetrainingresources.com/beery/
Our horse training bundles for big savings:
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Beginner’s Horseback Riding Book:
http://www.horsetrainingresources.com/RidingBook/
Beery Pulley Bridle:
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“4-H Clinic” DVD:
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